silver gypsy

Also, 23 hours and 50 minutes until my birthday

I missed talking to Jessica. Seriously, no one relates to me like her. We’re so different but our feelings and minds are one in the same. So weird.

I’ve officially used an entire bottle of tea tree oil on my arm and it’s still not gone. This is fucking BULLSHIT.

I guess my birthday is going to be twice as lonely as I was prepared for. At least I still have my sister.

Why do people still try to poke me on Facebook. Trying to start a war but the joke’s on you, I just ignore it hahaha

I was talking with Emily yesterday about triangle bathing suit tops. Sorry ladies, you kind of have to have the right boobs to pull them off AND if the top is the slightest bit too small or too big, even with the right boobs, it’s over for you. I mean, anyone can wear what they want, but triangle bathingsuit tops are like speedos to me. If you’re not gonna look hot in it, you might wanna try a style that makes you look sexier. Unless obviously you don’t care whether or not you look good in your bathing suit. Either way, I can’t help but judge /:

It really annoys me when people try to make me feel shitty just to make a point or because they know they CAN make me feel shitty. Even when it’s obvious that someone is doing something just to make me mad, it makes me more mad than if someone unknowingly made me mad. I guess that makes sense, and in another way, it doesn’t. If I know they’re bluffing and just trying to make me feel shitty I should obviously just ignore it because I know it’s not genuine or whatever. But at the same time, who DOES something like that? Why do people purposely upset other people they love? Get off your high horse and don’t be a bitch to the only person who actually cares about you. Honestly, I just want my birthday to be over with. I’m such an idiot for stressing out about a day that should be to opposite of stressful for me.

I actually had a really good time last night. I thought it would be weird since we’ve all grown apart a little bit but it felt so natural. It’s always so nice when me, Steph and Aikea are all together again. And I don’t mind being kind of a wallflower and listening to my good friends talk and be silly. I really think one my favorite things to do is play ring of fire. I feel like you somehow get to know people a little better and it just connects you. I’m glad that I met these people because they’ve really taught me so much about myself. I don’t want to be a slutty little college girl who just wants to get wasted and doesn’t care what she does to her mind or her body. I feel like I finally understand how to have a good time with people who care about me just as much as I care about them, and I’m so grateful for it.

I’ve also reconsidered my plans a little bit. I was thinking that Saturday we go to Wekiva as I planned but go to Kobe’s for dinner with literally everyone, and just doing that would be okay with me. And if people want cake, they can come to my house afterwards or something. I’m going to triple check with my mom but that sounds really good to me.

I know I have a minimal amount of drama in my life as it is, but lately it’s been feeling like there’s more of it than I’d like. I just want to chill the fuck out, have a good time and not worry about other people’s fragile ass feelings. I don’t wanna walk on eggshells with anyone, I don’t want to lie to anyone and I don’t want anyone around who’s going to make a big deal over every move I make. I don’t want to spend the summer ignoring anyone. I want to do what I please. I want to hang out with whoever I’m in the mood to hang out with; and if I’m not in the mood to hang out with anyone in particular, I don’t want it to be a big deal. I’m so laid back with the social aspect of my life, and sometimes I decide at the last minute that I want to do something that I wasn’t planning to begin with. I don’t want my actions to be a big deal or to effect anyone else, and they don’t in the first place, really. I don’t want anyone to get butthurt about what I’m doing because I don’t need more than one mom. If I want to be alone, leave me alone. If I want to chill with Emily, that’s that. If I want to hang out with Erika, okay. If I want to go to the mall, I’ll go to the mall. If I want to stuff my face, let me stuff my face. If I want to go to the beach, I’m going to drive to the beach. If I want to drink, I’ll do it. It’s moments like these that I think everyone should just smoke a joint and chill the fuck out because what I do, who I hang out with, how I spend my time and money is of nobody’s concern but my own.

Bringing up past mistakes is one of the worst things you can do to someone. There’s nothing that makes me more spiteful. Self fulfilling prophecy. Call me a slut? I can show you what slutty looks like if you really want me to. Call me a druggie? Do you really wanna try that one? People are so full of shit and so rude. I try so hard to forget the stupid shit I’ve done. I’ve never been more happy with my life than I am now, so don’t try to tell me that I’m still the same person. You tell me I’ve changed; YES. I have. I don’t do the retard things I did five years ago. I’m trying so hard not to make stupid choices. How dare you even bring up a subject that is so sensitive and completely irrelevant. I am practically fuming right now.

The one day I think should be all about me is always the day I let people walk all over me the most, and it’s the day that I let everyone else be the most self centered. UGGGGH I’m so ridiculously selfish sometimes.

Note to self: don’t eat two chocolate donuts one after another… for more than one reason.

If you’re going to be a dick to people you shouldn’t be so shocked that you don’t have real friends.

d0notfeedthedrugchild asked: I would be so stoked to pay max 65 bucks for a massive. lol

Hahaha thank you! I know, right? It’s a steal!